Grandmother's Glasses

My grandmother, or Abuelita Tome (short for Tomasa) as we kids used to call her, died when I was 20.  She was my favorite person in the whole world, and the first death of someone close to me.

These were her glasses, one of the few things I have left that reminds me of her.  I think of her often and wonder what she would make of life today.

I wonder what she would think if she could see me today, would she be proud of the woman I've become?  I think so.  I hope so.  She's part of the reason that I am bi-lingual for she mostly spoke Spanish.  She raised a family and owned a bakery with her husband.  She was strong and endured a life I could never understand in a time I've never lived. 

My life, she would never understand, but I know she would have walked it with me if she could have.  It was a hard road with lots of lessons learned, but I finally got to a place in my life where it all makes sense now.  And I couldn't have done it without all those who came before me and the lessons that they taught me.

RELIVING THE PAST?

Don't you wish some times that you could read someone's mind?  I bet if I could read Champ's mind, he would be thinking that life is pretty good for him these days.  He's pretty hefty so you know he eats well and doesn't worry about where his next meal is coming from.  He likes to "torpedo" the porch in his, what I like to call, submarine look.  In fact, he pretty much lays wherever he wants.  And he seems to be very confident in his surroundings and doesn't mind taking a cat nap which wasn't always the case.  Yep, he has a pretty good life these days.

I read an article today written by someone wanting to go back in time to change the past and correct mistakes.  I thought to myself......Hmmm.....NOPE!  Living my life was hard enough the first time. Thank you very much!  Besides what would happen to the time continuum if I went back to change one little thing?  All hell would break loose, that's what!  It would start a spiral of unprecedented chaos.  It could erase all the good things that have happened to me along the way.

For example, so I don't marry my cheating first ex-husband, okay.  But then, I don't learn all the things that I learned from that relationship, pain, strength, and recovery.  Let's face it.  We are our experiences.  Our experiences and lessons learned shape us into the person we become.  Besides, if I hadn't had that experience, then I wouldn't have been in the right place to meet my second ex-husband.  He gave me one of my greatest blessings, my oldest son, and I wouldn't have missed that for the world.

Ask Champs, he'd tell you if he could.  All the bad things that happened in his earlier life help him to appreciate just how wonderful it can be.  Yes, life is good now, and we wouldn't have it any other way.

Expect the Unexpected!

So some time around the end of January I got this text from my son:  "Soooo....I kinda have something to tell you.  you're kinda sorta gonna have another grandson..  :)" 

Hmmmmm.....okay...when?  I think this was my reaction. 

What else was I gonna say?  NO?  Too late.  Cry?  Maybe.  Continue to love and support my son?  Definitely.

I've stopped being shocked by life and all the things it throws at me.  At my age, I just go with the flow.  I've also come to expect the unexpected which saves me a lot of heartache.  How does this work?  Just think...if it can go wrong, then it will.  Expect and anticipate and plan for the worse case scenario.  Then if it happens, you're prepared to deal with it.  If it doesn't, well, then you'll be tickled pink!

Well, he was born, and he's beautiful.  So did I expect another grandchild so soon?  Would I have wished my son to have two children at such a young age.  No, but the world didn't explode, and I'm still standing and stronger than ever.  My son has two beautiful boys, and he is a great father.  What else could I ask for?

Compromise is not a four letter word!

Love.  It is a choice.  It is a way of life.  It is a hard road to travel sometimes.  On the best days, it is easy and fun and wonderful.  On the worst, well, you have to work at it.  We are all different.  Opposites attract.  The key is compromise.  It can't always be my way, and it can't always be his.  Sometimes, we have to make "our" way.  He gives; I give.  Sometimes, I give more and sometimes, he has to give more.  In my younger days, well, I used to say, "It's my way or the highway!"  I remember feeling that if I gave an inch, then I would continue to give in, and I'd wind up losing all together.  As I've grown older, I've discovered that in a true compromise, there are no losers.  When we get along, we all win.  I've realized that a relationship is worth only what we each put into it.  It's only as hard as you make it.